Her Guardian Angel (Part 8)

The next morning, the sound of laughter and smell of coffee greeted me when I opened the door. It was evident from the ear splitting cackle that Mindy had returned from her boyfriend’s and she shot me her usual bright smile as I entered the kitchen along with practically singing ‘Hi Adam.’ What did I tell you? Far too cheerful at eight in the morning. Caroline was sat at the table leisurely drinking from her favourite mug and half-heartedly flicking through a magazine while she laughed at whatever had been said before I came in. How could she be so casual after last night? “Crap. Look at the time! I’d better get ready for work.” Mindy hastily finished the half eaten piece of toast in her hand and downed the remainder of her coffee before rushing out the room. I stared at Caroline as she pushed her chair back and went to refill her cup from the half full pot under the machine. “Look, I know you’re pissed.”

“’Pissed’ isn’t the word. You lied to me. For years. You did something stupid and reckless. Something that could have got you into shit I wouldn’t have been able to get you out of.” She dismissed me with a wave of her hand. “Oh you’d be able to, you know it. You’re my guardian, you wouldn’t let anything happen to me.”

“So, that’s it? You can do what you want because I’ll clean up the mess?”

“No, not whatever I want but…” She was momentarily distracted by the bathroom door closing and lowered her voice. “I don’t expect you to clean up after me, that’s why I go to towns miles away.”

“Not ‘go,’ ‘went.’ Past tense.” She genuinely looked surprised. “What?”

“You’re not doing it anymore.”

“What? No. I…I…”

“Kid, you’re not doing it anymore.”

“No. I’m not stopping. You can’t tell me…” I took the few strides across the room to reach her and gripped her shoulders, hoping to get through to her. “It stops now.” I quickly let go as Mindy hurried back into the room searching for her bag, Caroline muttered something about also needing to get ready and headed for the bedroom.

                The next fortnight was pretty tense, Caroline would barely speak to me and I followed her everywhere to make sure she didn’t partake in her newly revealed hobby. When she was asleep, I’d leave and wonder the streets a little while; going over the years in my head, was there a sign I’d missed that she wanted to do those things? Something in college? Before that? Eventually things got better. I couldn’t stay mad at Caroline and she began speaking to me again and seemed to have accepted my instructions to stop. It was a Sunday and the girls had hung around the flat most the day before going to meet the usual group at the pub around five, me and Cornelius in tow obviously. The girls wanted to leave early because they had work the next day and when we reached the flat, I told Caroline I’d be back soon. She said she was going to go to bed and Mindy shouted goodnight as I walked away, I threw my hand up in response as I usually did to that high pitched, chipmunk voice of hers every time it said ‘bye.’

I got back somewhere around one, maybe two, and noticed the living room door was closed. Weird. It was never closed. It was a tiny detail but one I would never miss after years of living with those two. I pushed it open and was fixed to the ground as a wave of ice cold shock hit me. The silence of the flat was suddenly deafening, like white noise turned all the way up. The room was trashed. There was so much blood. It was everywhere; covering the walls and sofa, the curtains, smeared hand prints on the windows and smashed tv. And Mindy. In the middle of the chaos. Cut and shredded by the butcher knife that lay next to her. Some of her hair had been ripped out and was scattered around the room like blonde confetti. The gag was still in her mouth. Caroline had enjoyed this in a way she hadn’t been able to enjoy the others. I sensed a presence behind me but didn’t turn to it. “A shame she had to go this way, had to go through what she did. She was quite lovely, she always was.” Cornelius’ deep voice almost whispered. “You were here? And you didn’t try to stop it?”

“It was God’s plan. Everything is the Lord’s plan.” I pulled myself away from the scene that had already burnt its way into my memory. “This is your precious God’s plan, is it? To have an innocent girl, a good kid, murdered by her best friend? Some fuckin god he is.”

“Do not speak of our Lord that…” Anger exploded from me and I slammed him against the wall, snarling at his blind loyalty. “Shut the fuck up with your shitty, pathetic God. He lets this world burn while he watches and you, you mother fuckers who are supposed to protect these kids, just stand by and let shit like this happen to them.” I pointed to Mindy’s bloody, carved up corpse. “You’re all cowards. Fuckin bystanders. If this is God’s plan like you all claim, ever thought what the Devil’s plan is going to look like?” I shoved him aside and headed for the door. “The Lord will strike you down for your blasphemy, Demon.”

“It’s alright, Kid.” I said, stroking Caroline’s hair as we laid on the bed. She’d said nothing about Mindy when I found her at the garage buying junk food, she just followed me home like nothing had happened, like we weren’t heading back to a murder scene. I thought maybe she’d say something when we got in, like reality would hit her. Instead of trying to explain or crying she just tutted as she gazed at the open living room door, a window into the carnage that filled the room and Mindy’s pasty arm visible beyond the door frame, outstretched like it was asking for help even in death. “Guess I’m going to have to buy a new sofa.” She had insisted on putting a movie on but I resigned myself to staring out the window at the dark street, occasionally a pair of headlights would pass, momentarily illuminating the blinds. “Everything’s going to be ok.” I knew she wouldn’t stop. Not now. Not after taking her time with Mindy. You know they say that once a dog gets the taste of blood it wants more? After you’ve gone that far on someone, tortured them, there’s no going back. You’re damned. I pulled her closer to me, tightening my embrace and squeezed my eyes shut at the sound of her neck snapping. I laid with Caroline’s limp body in my arms; slowly suffocating even though my lungs had been still for centuries, my insides filled with thorns, my mind numb. Eventually, I kissed the top of her head and slipped off the bed.

                I left Mindy where she was. She had family who’d want to bury her. I did remove the gag though and pulled her dress down that had rived up in her fight for her life. I paused at the door, hand on the handle and looked back. I’d seen plenty of violence before, hell, I’d been the cause of most of it but this was different to those scenes; she was one of the few good humans, truly good, she deserved to have a long life, not be cut down like she was. “Sorry, Mind’.”

                I didn’t have to bury Mindy but Caroline was on me. I gently put her down on the damp grass and began digging. When it was deep enough, I reached for her and paused. She looked like that little girl again; so innocent and beautiful, hard to believe she’d ever done anything wrong. I lifted her into the hole, moved her hair from her face and climbed out. I didn’t look as I shovelled the dirt back in, couldn’t stand to watch her been slowly covered by mud. When I was done, I lingered for a moment, staring at the grave stone. I could imagine her sat there all those years ago when I’d lifted her onto it and got her to tell me who’d hurt her, her face all scratched up and her knee bloody. Seemed an appropriate place to lay her to rest. “See ya, Kid.” I walked away slowly, reluctant to leave even though I knew she was dead and gone. I pulled the iron gate shut behind me, dug around in my jacket and pulled out the stone she’d given me the day we’d met. I turned it over a few times in my hand and ran my thumb along the black vein down it’s centre. Then, I slipped it back into my pocket and carried on walking.

Copyright Anna Smith 2020